


The Strong One

by Whyamilikethis (orphan_account)



Category: Gentleman Jack (TV)
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Don't Judge Me, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, I'm Sorry, Love, Mild Sexual Content, Protective Siblings, Questionable Choices, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-23 03:51:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19143001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Whyamilikethis
Summary: Marian and Anne Lister have never been close. Anne has had her heart broken by Miss Walker and Marian is there to comfort her. Things go in a direction unanticipated and feelings emerge.





	The Strong One

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I don't know what got into me. I saw that scene between them in Episode 7 and I kind of lost my head. This is what happened and I'm sorry, kind of not sorry. If it's not for you, that's all good. I don't even know why it happened... Nothing too crazy in it so don't worry about that.

She had always watched her sister choose everyone else. Whether it was socially or those pretty blonde things with shy smiles, it was never her attention that was sought. Her sister would sweep down from the sky, taking their innocence away until she came limping back, nursing the wounds that these ones always left her. She felt an angry frustration. Why couldn't she see that these vapid women did not know her, did not truly love or understand her.

The wine was flowing in her and she felt it moving her mouth and limbs, neck relaxing, her mouth slack. She also felt false courage rising in her and she found it easier to lock eyes with the darker one. It was just the two of them for once, all others having gone to bed and their quarters. Anne had dismissed "their" servants (who she had still called hers) earlier on and bid them to leave the wine. Both had partaken heavily tonight, riding on a wave of brandy at dinner. She could tell Anne was running away from something again. She knew that drawn look behind the dark eyes, a frown threatening to crease her forehead. Marian had heard her in past nights, sobbing for those pretty girls, those haughty and distant elegant women. She had lay in bed during the darkest hours feeling her sister's pain as thumps and sobs resonated through the wall. What dreams those sounds had given her too.

Anne sighed and flicked her fingers on the glass as usual, her hair falling messily in a braid over her shoulder. Marian noticed that she looked more relaxed and she knew it was probably the liquor. Anne's eyes were closed, and her body leaned over the table, stray locks of hair spilling down over her hands.

"Anne," Marian said, breaking the silence.

"Hmm," the reply was soft and distant. She was in her cups tonight, she thought. She had not seen her sister this disturbed for some time. She had barely ever seen her without the severe buttoned vest and tight hair. Now her shirt was open at the neck, vest undone and hair draping and tangled. Unbidden feelings of concern crept up inside her. "Anne," she started again, "Are you alright?"

Two reddened eyes slowly moved up to meet hers and she thought she saw wetness gathering in them. "Of course I am." The reply was sarcastic and held a fine edge of bitterness. "I am always alright Marian. With that, she took a deep swallow of the wine and set the glass down hard. The table rocked slightly as she pushed herself away, the chair scratching on the floor. Marian clenched her teeth at the harsh noise and bit down a comment. She knew her sister would not take any perceived criticisms well in this state and had been a victim to her sharp tongue more than once before. Instead, she sipped her wine feeling the dark taste spreading on her tongue. Anne laughed then, a slow sound building inside of her.

"I am completely fine, Marian. Just wonderful." She was getting worried now as Anne clutched herself silently cavorting. "Ah, ah," she gasped," I'm just perfect." White teeth showed in a wide smile as she motioned to the dark room. "I have my wine, you and our shabby little Shibden. What else could I ever want?"

Marian felt heat rise to her face and the boldness was back. "Well you needn't have come back if you felt so poorly about," she also motioned around, "all this."

Anne's eyes met hers and she knew she had taken the bait too soon. Damn, she thought, I have done it now. Yet Anne did not rise to the occasion as before. She looked off into the distance and Marian was shocked to see a tear slide down one strong cheek. She felt at a complete loss for words and could not remember the last time she had seen Anne cry outside their childhood. What is going on, she thought, and worry swept through her once more. This is not like her to be this vulnerable, this open and especially with her. She felt a small wall fell inside of her at the emotional outpouring. She swallowed and said, "Anne, do you want to talk about it, about what happened with," she paused, mind sluggish, "your friend." There, she had asked, finally breaking the false silence over what had happened with her and Miss Walker.

There was a deep silence wherein neither spoke but the dark wood began to slowly spin around her. She had drunk much more than she realized, inadvertently keeping pace with her older sister. She grasped the chair to steady herself and saw Anne's body droop. It fell sideways in a slow decent and her face rested in her hands, back twisted. She watched that body convulse with strangled sobs. Again, she was struck with how the drink had brought out this incredibly soft side of her most hard sister. Suddenly Anne seemed to come to herself and she crudely wiped her face on a white sleeve, rising and taking a wet breath. No sooner had she done this did her legs give out on her. Marian quickly rose and moved to her side. With awkward movements, she had Anne's arms around her shoulders with her weight bearing down on her. Anne's head lolled, coming to rest on her shoulder, heavy and warm.

Marian shook her slightly and said, "Anne, you need to go to bed." She mumbled a reply and Marian was forced to practically drag her to the stairs. "Anne you have to work with me now," she said as she looked up the dark expanse. She was not weak by any means but she knew she could not drag her sister up those stairs. She considered setting her down and calling a servant to help but was cut short by the idea of having someone see Anne in this weakened state. This woman did not show her feelings often and she felt it would be a betrayal to make her the talk of the house.

Shaking her once more, she helped Anne onto the first step. Thankfully, she was coherent enough to grasp the wall and pull herself up. With her aid and stumbling, Anne made it to the top of the stairs. From there she slowly guided her into her room, using her foot to close the door behind them. She stood next to the bed and and released the slack body, trusting and hoping that she would fall onto it. Anne did fall, but not alone. Her arms were entangled around Marian and she pulled her down too, both ending up on the rough coverlet. Anne's head was rolling on the bed and Marian realized that she had not been this close to her sister in a very long time. She was practically on top of her and could feel the strong body beneath her and smell the wine on her breath.

She tried to move away but felt Anne's arms wrap around her again. "What," she heard herself say, and suddenly her face was against the hot neck of the other. She froze and felt the urgency of the awkward contact between them. She knew that she should pull away and leave Anne to this drunkenness but she found she could not. Instead, she shifted herself so that she was embracing her in return. Her face was buried in the dark hair and a sharp metallic scent filled her nostrils. It was a masculine sweetness, borne on the sweat of Anne's skin. Against her instincts, she felt herself relax in the hard embrace and returned it with her own. She found her hands stroking the soft white shirt and she felt hard, warm muscle underneath. She knew her sister was strong but she had not truly felt it before. Thoughts of past lovers and how they knew this found their way into her mind. She pushed the thoughts away quickly, feeling odd for having them. And this whole thing was beyond odd, she thought. Neither of them had ever been physically close. Maybe a hard kiss on the cheek or brusque hug passed between them but never anymore than that. She could not recall a time like this. She also knew that Anne would never do this if sober. She wondered if Anne would even remember it in the morning. She doubted it and slightly hoped she would not.

Marian pulled her head back and the arms loosened around her. She saw the dark eyes open in then dim light and knew that she was being watched. Now what will she do, she thought, with slight apprehension. Fully expecting Anne to push her off she tensed and tried to withdraw. Instead Anne spoke, saying in a soft shifting voice, "Do you remember when we were young? We used to play this game." Maryanne froze. She did remember "the game" as they called it. This was the first time Anne had ever spoken of it. Before this, Marian was met with denial and a brisk change of subject from her when she brought it up. "Yes I remember," she said, wanting Anne to continue. Anne made a noise and she could not tell whether it was a cry or laugh. "We would hide under the covers and see how far one of us could go." Her voice faded off at the end and Marian shook her slightly to keep her awake. Anne reopened her eyes and took a sharp breath. "Hmm," was her only reply.

Marian knew what she was referring to with an acuity that frightened her. She remembered the nights of their childhood, passions not yet developed as Anne grazed her arms, legs and chest with her sharp fingertips. She could still feel the sick unknown burn inside of her at the touch. She was struck with a faded memory of a small wet mouth on hers. She knew all children experimented and that they had been no different. Their parents had soon separated them into other beds after finding out. She had known then that Anne was different. She wondered why she was dredging all this up in this drunken moment.

"Oh Ann," the broken whisper came suddenly, surprising Marian. She heard the pain there, heard the loss coming out of her and it snapped her back to the present. Anne was a bleeding thing, the wound open for her to see. She knew that this strong one would never accept comfort from her in any state other than this and she made up her mind to give what she could. Liquid courage guiding her, she slowly reached up and stroked the damp heated brow, and felt the fine dark hair surrounding her face. She moved in for a kiss to that arched brow, the one that was usually twisted with some torment and she was shocked to feel lips instead. Their mouths met in a clumsy wet kiss, lips sliding. She froze and tried to pull away, instead feeling herself pressed fiercely against the other. A strange feeling burst inside of her and the alcohol slowed her reactions, caused her mouth to open and accept the tongue and lips presented. She knew it was wrong, more wrong than anything she had done. But she could not stop, could not escape. Anne tasted like the sea, salty with tears. Her lips were slow and sensual and she felt herself thinking of all the other women who had tasted them before her. The faces flashed through her mind and understanding grew. There was talent in this one and a seduction that presented itself even in a blind drunk state. She pulled in a breath when they parted and she touched her lips with her fingers, feeling wetness there.

 Anne's eyes were open now, her gaze far away. She did not know what to do and prepared herself for some defense. Instead she felt the strong arms around her tighten once more and she was drawn down, their bodies pressing tighter than before. And there they lay, enveloped in each other, Anne slowly rocking back and forth. She could feel the wetness of tears on her face and knew she was crying. She did not know what way was up or down, did not know the sky from the ground. All she knew was this tender moment, this shared experience. She knew that she would remember it the next day and prayed that the other would not. She was not able to explain any of this through her alcohol haze and did not want to try. As she was touched and soothed, she felt knots loosen inside of her. Each one released with one tear that made its way down and tickled her cheek. She did not know what this meant but she knew something had come undone inside of her for this dark one. For her dark one. They would always be bonded together by blood and secrets. Now she had a new secret of when the stronger let her guard down and opened up to the younger. She vowed to take the night to her grave.

Soon Anne stopped moving and fell asleep. Marian could feel the alcohol infused tiredness burning her at her own eyes. She slowly extricated herself from the others grasp and stood, catching herself on the bed. She then took in the languid pose and pure vulnerability of Anne in sleep, committing it to heart and quietly leaving the room.

In the morning, Anne was late to breakfast. When she did come to the table, she was moving slowly and clutching her head. She sat down gingerly and took a glass of water. Marian watched her, feeling tense. Anne, however, showed nothing to indicate she had remembered any of the previous night. She nibbled at toast and was uncharacteristically quiet, flinching at loud noises. Eventually her father said with a slight grin, "Long night for you two?" Anne grimaced in reply and sipped more water.

 "Yes," Marian replied. "I guess you could say that."

Anne's eyes met hers, red rimmed. "When did I retire? I don't recall making my way to the room." She looked puzzled but shook it off quickly.

Marian felt a tension release inside her. "Well you had a few too many, I believe, and lay down before I did."

"Strange." Anne said quietly and her father and Aunt looked over. "Nothing," she said quickly and rose. She stopped and looked at Marian, saying, "Well even though I do not have specifics of the night, thank you for staying."

Marian nodded and said, "Well, you sent the servants away and I couldn't leave you in that state." Anne's eyes flashed and she straightened up. "Well yes, I guess that is true." Marian felt calmness settle in as Anne stalked away upstairs, giving her Aunt a look as she went. She knew that things were back to normal with the two of them, their cutting banter not having changed. She sipped at her tea and reflected on her feelings. She would not show the new tenderness inside her. Instead, she would keep it locked away, along with the strangeness of the night. Maybe Anne will have need of her again, she thought, as she sipped her tea.


End file.
